Tuesday! Minor Psychotic Break. No biggie.

WHAT THE FUCK????????  Check out the bottoms.  THIS IS THE BACK OF THE SUIT!!!!

Me:  (shouting from the bedroom) Nooooooooooo!!  Matt!!  Come here. (My ass is squished into the bottoms, cutting the fat off in an attractive way.  The cellulite looks particularly STUNNING)

Matt:   It's so cute!  You look great.  In 90 days this is going to be amazing.

My daughter (14):  Oh.....oh.  Hmmmm, that's cute.  No offense but you have a really big butt AND even in 90 days this might not work.  I'm not calling you fat, cuz you obviously aren't fat...but you do have a really big ass.

Me:  Truth.  If it doesn't fit, you can have it.  

Sky:  Yay, then I hope you fail!

-_- Lolololololol! What a little fucker!  Wonder where she gets it?!

I am officially overwhelmed.

Breakfast: hot Italian turkey sausage, mushrooms, onion, jalapeno egg white scramble.  1 slice of Ezekiel bread.

Snacks: bar, then shake

Lunch:  My coworker took me to La Iguana.  Chicken tortilla soup, minus the tortillas.  I forgot to ask for no cheese.

Dinner:  turkey taco meat on romaine!

After dinner snack:  plain greek yogurt, almonds, and a drizzle of honey







I did workout today!  I wore my heart rate monitor.  15 minutes in, it TOTALLY stopped working.  Apparently it couldn't find my heart beat.  I think I died for a few minutes.  Today was legs, legs, legs.  Then we ran. Kinda far.  At 5:20.  It was cold.  I hated it.  But I really loved it.

 
Parent Conference week is this week.  A couple of hints to parents when you go into parent conference week......
1.  Your child does not misbehave because he/she is bored.  He/she is having issues with being a douche bag.  It happens.  I have my own douche bag at home.  I love him.  He still acts like a douche bag at school sometimes.  He receives consequences.  Because I believe the teacher.
2.  If your child struggles in an area, it's not a reflection of you.  It's not the teacher's fault.  The POINT of the conference is to touch base and create a plan to help your child.  Kids grow and learn at different rates.  Some kids are math kids.  Some are language arts kids.  Rarely are they both.  AND THAT IS OK!
3.  A "G" is a good grade.  No, it's not an "O".  Maybe in the next reporting period it WILL be an "O".  So no, it's not an "O".  Stop whining about it like a little bitch.
4.  NO!  I will not give you "extra homework" to challenge your child.  Grab a tougher chapter book, cuddle up, and read it TOGETHER.  Cook together.  Play board games together.  Your child does not need more worksheets.  They need more of your time.
5.  Although your child is probably really smart.  There are other really smart kids in the class as well.  -_-  No REALLY, your child is not the only one.

Last but not least.
 

I know what you're thinking.  That's a lot of carbs right there....;P