Friday. Wait...I'm not done??

Holy shizzzzzz, this was a friggin' WEEK!  I've had something/somewhere to go 4/5 nights this week.  And tonight?  My mother-in-law is coming over to see my daughter's choir show...and she wants to come to the house before the show.  MY HOUSE.  The house that looks like a crack den/ghetto brothel.

In short, I'll be spending 40 minutes shoving crap into drawers and closets, spot mopping the floor, and "cleaning up the kitchen"  AKA wiping the fuck out of everything with Clorox wipes.  Exactly the LAST fucking thing I WANT to be doing on a Friday night.

Oh and did I mention I was concession mom tonight at Valencia High School Choir show?  Lucky me.  Selling chips and candy for THREE HOURS.  If I was the organizer, I'd be handing out vodka tonics disguised in a "to go" coffee cup to all the parent volunteers.  I bet I'd get a shit ton of volunteers!
 

or hand out Tampon flasks....either way, I'm sure I'd be the most popular organizer EV-ERRRRRRR!

 I have realized that I CANNOT Blog every day.  It's just not working with my work and the after school kid shit.  So, I'm aiming for once or twice a week.

 I've struggled to drink 100 0z a day of water.  I made it on Mon. and Tues. but failed on Wed. and Thurs.  Not sure if I will make it today.  I love water.  Just teaching and drinking water all day don't mix.  I've eaten pretty well.  Some good days and some pretty good days.  No horrible days but I wouldn't say this week has been spectacular.  It hasn't been shitty either.  I didn't go over on too many delicious points.  I'm weighing myself on Monday.

Nom!

I took 5 days off to heal my muscles and I feel great.  I will be ready to hit the gym tomorrow!

These may or may not apply to me.

I fucking love this woman.

And finally, PARENTS!  Stop Facebooking about FUCKING COMMON CORE.  Write the governor or some shit.  Complaining publicly DOES NOTHING.  I'm not saying your point is invalid.  I'm not saying shit....just please FUCKING stop and either do something about it, or shut your gob.

 Time for the DOC (thanks Diane!)

 

Day 1...again.

This will be a quickie!  I just taught a full day, prepped for tomorrow and spent 3 hours in a training on how to integrate the arts into curriculum.  In short, I'm friggin' burnt.
 

I really dislike interacting with people during a training.  Just tell me the shit and I'll go try it in my classroom.  It's as if they make us "interact" to stretch the training to make it longer and to make my socially awkward ass uncomfortable. 

Because my neck and shoulder muscles are pulled/strained I had to skip my morning class.  I planned on coming home to do some restorative yoga.  I found a few "classes" on YouTube.  But my restorative yoga is going to have to be falling a-fucking-sleep because I have ZERO energy.

This is how fucking stiff I am right now.  Namaste, bitchezzzzzzzz!

As for drinking 100oz of water today......NAILED IT.  I was uncomfortable all day long.  I had to PEE.  Like really, really badly.  

I have to go hours in between peeing.

I ate a total of 1,250 calories all of them were clean n shit.  Lean protein, fruit, and I got ALL my veggies in.  Boom, fucker.  Day 1 was my bitch.  My punk bitch.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm. 

One funny meme.....gotta go!

 I think I've used all the Daily Odd Compliments so here is one of my own....
You are pretty fucking cool.

This is my life. No really. It is.

I haven't blogged in a while.  I've been completely overwhelmed by the switch to my new school.  There is so much PRESSURE and I'm feeling the stress.  My inherent need for control and my need to be perfect is fucking out of control.  And let's face it, being the fucking new guy sucks!  Sometimes I just wanna scream, "DO you KNOW who I am?"

I KNOW I cannot be perfect.  I just don't know how to turn the need to try to be perfect off.

There is so much on my plate.  Planning all new common core curriculum, daily SELD lessons, taking arts integration classes in the evenings, and trying to be a mom, wife, and whole person is leaving me exhausted.  
 

bwahahahahaha!

I've been pushing hard at work and pushing hard at the gym. I haven't been sleeping well.  I've been getting up to go to the gym but I've been getting hurt.  Back tweak here, muscle pull there.  I'm hurting.  Then I have to skip the gym to heal and this PISSES me off!  I feel like I'm constantly putting out fires.  I'm surviving rather than thriving.

So fucking funny and so true.  I have NO idea what to do with myself when I can't workout.

Until last week I wasn't eating super clean.  I've been eating more sugar AND I AM NOT A SUGAR person.

Mind.  Blown. Lol!

 

I've been having cocktails when I know I shouldn't and I've been eating the dreaded CARBZZZZZZ.  Seriously, I should buy stock in Frito Lay.....I've been gobbling that shit UP. My pants size is not different and I've only gained a few pounds.  But I feel like FUCKING SHIT and my belly??????  eeeks!  I'll post an abs "before pic" tomorrow.  Gotta be publicly humiliated to reach my goals. -_-

Pffffffft!  Sometimes I really do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just need to sack my shit up.  Reboot.  Focus on my health.  Focus on getting enough sleep.  Focus on cooking healthy fucking food.

FOCUS!

Let's do this!

For this week I will cut out all sugar and I will drink 100 oz of water a day.  I will let my body heal.  I will get sleep even if I have to drink nasty ass "sleepy time tea" and will turn my electronics off early.  I'm going to cut out alcohol and will detox.  I'm thinking of making the Jillian Michael's detox tea.  I will do less Facebook and will spend more time with my kids.  I will have a cut off time for work each evening.

Matt better be FUCKING helpful!.  I swear the man is less than helpful in the food arena right now.  But man, do I love him.  Fucking turd.

those better be pot brownies!  lol!

Now for some funnies...

What inspired this sign?

What.  The.  Fizzzzzuck? 

Words to live by!  This is a cunt free zone!

and to close, as usual...the daily odd compliment.

Always in parting, I say peace! (I actually NEVER say that but there was this dude in college who always left the room saying this AND throwing up the deuces.  He was ugly.)
Have a great week, bitchezzzzzzz.

Saturday!

Hoping you all had a fantastic 4th of July!  Mine was PERFECT!  A little World Cup, a little sun and pool time, and a few cocktails with great friends.  Can't beat it!

Today is much of the same, minus sun, friends, and cocktails.  World Cup and UFC!  Not a bad day.....at all.  This is a summer filled with fun! 

Weidman is fighting tonight!  HOPING he wins!  Love this philosophy.  Push forward, keep going, improve.

I skipped my workout today since I did double yesterday AND my ass and legs are extremely sore.  Eeeeeeee!  Tomorrow I will be doing the church workout AND yoga!  Gotta get that burn in WITH my strength and flexibility work.
 

Yoga does chill me out.....for a SHORT while.

We have a fridge full of yummy, healthy food!  I am cooking and we are avoiding eating out....unless we have a gift card.  I am going to be a Nazi with our summer budget.  Declan's day camp (3x a week) is pricey and we need to start being more careful with the summer budget.  Fucking sucks.  I really just want to be independently wealthy, workout, and have someone cook my meals and clean my house.  Why is this so hard to understand??

Why has the universe NOT recieved my message that I would be a DARLING millionaire???

I just put my yummy turkey meatballs in the crock pot.  Kids and hubby will probably make meatball subs.  I will eat the balls with veggies on the side!

Meatball recipe:
frozen meatballs
sauce-2 cans of tomato sauce, 1 small can of tomato paste, Italian seasoning, basil, oregano, crushed red pepper flakes, Worcestershire sauce ( a lot), and just a hint of mustard, soy sauce, and fresh black pepper.....and 1 medium onion, chopped.
Put it all in the crock pot for several hours.  Done!

This is still semi frozen, I just thought I'd show you what it looks like.

I'm TRYING to cook more in the crock pot over the summer.  Turning on our oven heats up our tiny little house.  UNCOMFORTABLE!!

Tried this the other day.  Crock pot orange chicken.  I used sugar free orange preserves and I served it with brown rice.  YUM!
Cheap Orange Chicken 

I accused my husband of being OBSESSED with Call of Duty the other day after he spent 5 hours playing.  I then realized that since summer started, I've watched 65 episodes of Toddlers and Tiaras.  I proceeded to quickly shut the hell up.

Dude!  I LOVE waitresses too!!!!

See you douchenozzles tomorrow!!

I think we are related.

Seriously, if you can't WALK....."driving" a wheelchair aint gonna help.

fo REAL!

Enjoy this beautiful Saturday! 

I believe!!

Helllllloooooooooooooooooooooo!  I can hardly sit still!  In a few short hours the USA will be playing to get into the Quarter Finals of the FIFA World Cup!  I believe!!!!!!

Went to the gym last night.  I was not ready.  I didn't rest for long enough after being sick.  It was a struggle to even jog.  I took today off and will hit the weight room tomorrow morning.  I cannot wait to start this new journey (and skerd).
 

Yesterday I was slower than that.  Ug-laaaaaaay!!!

When I got to the gym yesterday, I saw my poster on the hallway of the gym!  I was so honored and embarrassed at the same time!!!!  OM fucking Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, that shit is on display!  I guess I have to stay in shape now, or walk by that poster in SHAME!

I think it's tremendously sad that when I look at this I just pick out my flaws.  That is fucking unacceptable!

 

This is Andrea.  She is a whore.  A whore with great abzzzzzzzzzzz!  I'm coming after those abs, hooker.

I'm hitting the sports bar/ breastaurant today!   Going to The Tilted Kilt for boobies, beer, the game, and fooooooood.  Oh, I will have something to work off tomorrow for sure!

If I had to do it all over again, I would be fit in my teens and twenties and would have made SHIT TONS of tips off of desperate, stupid men and I would not have had student loans to pay off!  lololol!  These bitches are SMART!

Just in case I haven't offended you yet.....I present.....exercise Jesus!

I prefer the wine.

 

Bitch did what????

 And if I go to hell, I might as well deserve it....

and......

As a people, they CAN be annoying.

Bye hookerzzzzz.

I might have already used this one!

 What's more American than tampons???  GO USA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday Funday

Feeling better today. What, what?  Stupid strep throat.  That shiz is stoooooooooopid.

Yay, antibiotics!!!  Day 3 and the shit FINALLY kicked in.  I'm not contagious anymore!

Did you catch up yet??  bahahahaha!!!!

This is the 3rd time this year that I've had strep.
 

Seriously, that bitch has been belly up to the bar. -_-

I'm making the courageous decision to change up my workouts (I'm being halfway sarcastic).  Because I didn't have the results I wanted in the last challenge, I decided to listen to people and make my way into the weight room.  I CANNOT justify spending more $$ on another gym, so my only option is to hit that room.  I've decided to do M, W, F weights and T, TH, S classes.  Sunday is rest day (I think) but I'll probably do yoga at the gym.

Here are my fears....

1.  I really LOVE the classes at Warrior.  Cutting down on classes makes me sad.  I don't like to think when working out.  I like to be in the zone.  It's the only time I can fully "check out".  When I am done, I feel truly relaxed and happy.  The trainers are fun, the music is bumpin'.  Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!

2.  Cardio classes truly change my brain chemistry...for the better.  It reduces my daily anxiety, my obsessive thoughts, and it evens out my mood.  I haven't felt depressed since starting Warrior.

3.  I am a TERRIBLE creature of habit.  I don't care for change.

4.  I'm afraid I will get fat without the cardio and/or look too cut.  NO, not "too big".  Too cut.  I don't like that shit. 

I like the way the girls on the top look...is that bad?????

Some friends at the gym and I are tracking our calories burned over the next 90 days.  I'm not setting a "goal", I'd just like to see how many I burn in the first 30 and make goals from there.  I love numbers, check off lists, and keeping track of stuff.  I'm a nerdy fucker.

Ev-reh dayum day!

I'm going to start tracking my measurements starting tomorrow.  Here are my current measurements.  After 30 days, with weight lifting, and a reasonable diet.  Let's see.

Hope you had a great day!!!

This is me......a lot!!!! 

Mine would read...hold my drink!

bahahahahaha!!!!!

 ....and

 Good night, stinky feet.