Reboot my booty!

 In the midst of another sleepless night, flopping around like a beached whale, I found this link posted on my Facebook wall.  A friend thought I would like it.  And I really, really did. 

 

Or.....whale. Whatever.  The thought being a large mammal thrashing around in bed.

This is the link, written by Wil Wheaton...
Seven Things I Did to Reboot My Life

The minute I read it I thought, "YES, a reboot.  THIS is a great idea.  I can do this."  Nobody loves a blueprint more than me.  No-damn-body.  If there was ever a bitch who LOVES rules and a plan, it's this bitch. 

 And THEN I la-la-love to break the rules I set out for myself...because of who I am as a person.

I do what I want! -Cartman

So I decided to come up with my own list of things that will help me get back in touch with my authentic self....you know, the self without all the BULLSHIT.  So here goes.

1.  Drink less wine (less alcohol).  If I reduce my wine, I reduce my calories. I reduce the chances of eating crap food.  I reduce insomnia and I reduce belly fat.  These are all GREAT things that make me feel happy.  So, no more Friday night wine (just cuz) or I've had a shitty day wine, or I'm going to reward myself with wine.  Wine on special occasions! <meep -_->

OMG, yes.

2.  Ditch the scale.  I literally went ONE day without the scale.  One.  WHAT A PUSSY! My anxiety level yesterday was through THE FUCKING roof!  This morning as Matt went out to get coffee, I tip toed out to the closet, snuck it back into the bathroom to use it, then tip toed that shit back out.  Like a fucking crack addict.  Shameful.....honestly.  I can DO this.

Anxious all day...

3.  Spend less time on Facebook/on my phone.  Enough said.  Interact more with people.  Gulp.  Try to embrace social interactions and plans I make, rather than dread them.  Be brave, be bold, be present.

Troof.

4.  Read more REAL books....the paper kind (not digital).  Connect with the written word.  It always brings me peace.

5.  Cook healthy meals for the family after work.  No more "We are so busy" bullshit.  Yes, I work full time.  Yes, my family is busy.  Yes, it is my job to feed this family properly.  Make the kids sit and EAT THE FUCKING MEAL I PREPARED.

6.  Meditate daily on my bolster (not in bed).  DAILY.  With candles. Because I like candles.

7.  Research sleep.  Get more of it nightly.  FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT.

8.  Simplify EVERYTHING.  Spend less, need less, want less.
  
This is the reboot.  I got this.  Change is good, change is good, change is good....

Later, sexy bitchezzzzz!

 

New Year

It's been almost a YEAR since I blogged last.  I cannot express what a YEAR it's been. A death in the family, a thyroid cancer scare (I'm TOTALLY fine), a double mastectomy for mom,  another family member with ovarian cancer, teaching a split grade, a sick, sick dog, and buying and selling a house.  I'm sure there was a lot of GOOD this year too...but it was just a "FUCK ME, FUCK YOU, FUCK IT" kind of year.  
 

2015 can suck it!

I feel like I have been in "reaction" mode all year rather than in a positive proactive state of mind.  I got a lil lost.

Fast forward to today.  Black Friday.  It's the day after Thanksgiving and I woke in a food and wine induced shame spiral that ended with me stepping on the scale.  Firstly, "the number" was BAD, secondly, my pedicure is to'e up.

I need a pedi!!!!!

This led me to two very important decisions.
1.  I am taking 2 classes at the gym today.  Bootcamp AND spin.
2.  I need to book a pedi....STAT. (Gotta shave though AND wait until payday.  So, STAT in 3 days).

A third very important decision was made today as I was driving home from the gym..."properly punished" for enjoying food and wine.
                                       I am done with my scale.
 

Word!

I am throwing the mother fucker the fuck OUT (OK, I'm really hiding her.) I have decided that letting my daily happiness depend upon a number is complete and utter bullshit.  I am the same person regardless of my weight.  I deserve the same happiness, I deserve to enjoy my life, I deserve a cupcake once in a while without wanting to jump of a bridge. Actually I fucking DESPISE cupcakes but you get the idea.
 

Who me?

Keep in mind, I have weighed myself virtually EVERY day since I was 19.  So, I'm freaking the fuck OUT.  How does one start the day without the scale?  How will I know what to feel?  How will I know what to wear??

Ummmmmmm, yaaaaaaas!

 So 2016 starts now...outside my comfort zone and on an anti diet.  NO, this is not an excuse to eat ALL THE FOOD.  I believe I can reclaim my happy.  I can choose to eat healthy food most of the time, I can choose to eat when I am hungry and NOT on a schedule.  I am going to unlearn every "rule" about dieting I've heard in the last 3 years.  Fuck paleo, fuck low carb, fuck IIFYM, fuck it all.  I'm going to eat real food and stop worrying so much.  THERE IS NOTHING ON MY "NO" LIST.

I actually like eating healthy food!

 I can choose to wake up, meditate on the joy and gratitude for the many amazing people in my life.  I can choose to be a fearless bad ass who doesn't GIVE A FUCK about others' opinions of my body.

NO MORE, mutha fuckaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzz

I don't wanna eat your face off though...cuz that's fucking gross.  Bleck.

So the goal for 2016 is not abs for days, it's not a number on a scale, it's not to fit into a certain size.  The goal for 2016 is to be healthy and happy as FUCK.
 

Dear scale, you are a controlling bitch.  I'm breaking up with you.

And finally...

 I promise I would!  xoxoxoxoxo  Thanks for reading, bitchezzzzz!