TGIF emmer effer...

Hi beautiful people.  I'm taking a few days off the blog.

Today my throat started swelling up again and I got put on a Z pack by Kaiser.  I'm in a lot of pain and frankly I'm not in the mood to eat and/or write about my food.  

Hoping the medicine works because my husband planned a surprise anniversary get away this weekend. I have NO idea what's in store!  Hoping I get to enjoy a yummy steak dinner!

I've been feeling a bit blue lately.  Hormones are running WILD.  This made me smile though.

And a parting thought.  See you in a few days!

 

#shitdudewhatdidido

 #iwasrockingmyfoodtodayuntiljustnow.....

#shamespiral  #itwasdelcious  #selfsabotage  #whydididoooooooit  #youthinkyouknow  #youdontknow  #ithinkihavetodoubleuptomorrow  #mybellyhurts #idonteatgirlscoutcookiesbutiatethis  #totalhonestyonablogishard  #phatphuckneedsabeatdown  #keepingitreal  #kindofembarassed  #fuck  #doublefuck

I spent all day today thinking that it was Thursday...guess what? It's not.

I have been on the run since 4am.  I just got home.  It's 6:30.  

• gym
• teach
• after school meeting (zzzzzzz-so effing DULL)
• take Declan to his first Warrior class
• grab Declan a sub sandwich
• Dick's sporting goods for shoes, shorts, and boxing gloves
• take Declan to jiu jitsu
• my WONDERFUL husband met me at jiu jitsu and let me come HOME!

I love being home.  I love my bed.  I love sleep.

Just to be clear, I'm not trying to say that my life is harder than anyone else.  I know it's not.  I'm not in an imaginary pissing contest where I piss the furthest with the most majestic arc.  I'm just pointing out that we are ALL busy with many things to do.  Some days are longer than others.  We have so many different people/obligations pulling us in every direction. 

The point?   If you don't carve out time for yourself, it's easy to get lost.  By that I mean, it's easy to lose who you are.  What you need.  What you want.  Your dreams.  Your SELF. 

 I finally found myself again.  At 4:45 in the frickin' morning with a bunch of other crazies and some wonderful trainers.  This may not be you.  Maybe you gave up painting or writing, or sewing.  Maybe you've always wanted to meditate or take up yoga.  I think you DESERVE to find yourself again.  It's not too late.  Think about something you can do for you.  ONLY you.  Not for your husband or wife, not for your kids, not for your job....just you.  You might have to wake up early before everybody is awake or you might just have to stay up a little later to get your ME time.  But just think about it.  All you're losing is sleep.   You could gain SO MUCH MORE.

Breakfast: 3 egg whites, spinach, mushrooms, 2 pieces of turkey bacon, 1 slice of Ezekiel bread.

Snack:  Starbucks greek yogurt berry parfait (waaaaaaaaay too much sugar and too many carbs-I was in a pinch) 

Lunch: chicken, asparagus, brown rice
Snack:  Nuts and crasins
Dinner:  Nothing

I feel like a phat phuck carb dumping ground.  My body is saying HELL NO!  I'm bloated, cranky and out of sorts.  I am sluggish as hell.  Too many carbs and too much sugar today.  Not to mention...that special "lady time" is on the way.  Right now I'm extra tired, emotional, and just plain ridiculous. 

Tomorrow will be better, I won't rush out the door without snacks. AND I WILL DRINK MORE WATER.  Not a great day.  BUT...it could have been a lot worse.

VICTORY of the day:  I didn't eat ONE of those fucking Girl Scout cookies!  Boom!  Like a boss!

I also think it's important to recognize your "food" triggers....if you have them.

Things that made me go bat shit crazy and make me want to eat carbs and drink wine TODAY..

•  a pointless staff meeting
• certain coworkers
• report cards
• STUPID ASS, NEVER ENDING, emmer effing LAUNDRY
• when I see a child in my class pick his/her nose and eat it
• when I see a woman with armpit hair
• Girl. Scout. Cookies.

Things that were GREAT about today.

• my workout
• my class was great
• watching my son at his first Warrior class
• having my hubby relieve me at jiu jitsu
• my bed
• the rain (I LOVE rain)
• my parents (every day I am grateful for them)
• my funny ass friends

 Good night, friends.

 

Waaaaah, I HATE cooking dinner!

I hate cooking dinner. No really.   By the end of the work day I am EXHAUSTED and the last thing I want to do is cook dinner.  I'm not a natural cook and my kids complain about most of things I make.  It's a frustrating endeavor.  If I ever win the lottery, I'm getting a personal chef and a pool boy.  I don't have a pool but...whatever.

Before kids, dinner was whatever I could scrounge.  Popcorn, eggs, Cheese-Its.  WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY tell me that having kids = cooking almost every night.  What a load of shit.

Breakfast-same as yesterday.

Lunch-prepped Sunday (chicken, asparagus, brown rice)

Snacks-protein balls, plain Greek yogurt with honey and almonds, cashews and craisins.  I had an extra snack today.  I was frickin' STARVING.  My workout today was rough.

Well, I'm not going to say this sign was a LIE.....but we did not just use boxing gloves.  We did a circuit from HELL with kettle bells, the cycle bike,  burpees/mountain climbers.  We ended with 20 minutes of boxing.  It was AWESOME!!!!

After Class.

The afterburn.  An HOUR after class I was still burning calories!  Woot!!

Dinner-wheat crust pizza (sauce, tomato, onion, spinach, Italian spicy turkey sausage).  I got the dough and sauce from Trader Joe's.  It was GREAT!!!  Needed jalapenos and crushed red pepper.  The kids got a cheese and pepperoni pizza.  I didn't even make a side.  Eat the pizza and shaddap!

Adult Pizza

Kid Pizza.  Can you tell my 8 year old helped???

There may or may not have been a Girl Scout cookie transaction performed at the gym this morning at approximately 5:50am.  Girl Scouts.  Those bitches have been trying to make me fat for YEARS! ;P

Gym bag with cookie evidence.

 This blog is so effing random.  I'm so tired that my sequencing is all jacked up.  Whatever.  Too tired to fix it.

 
Cookie Season....

Hope you all had a GREAT day!!  Nighty noodles.

A case of the Mondays....

Woke up, weigh in day!  Woot!!!!!  Down 3.1!  Let's not get too excited.  I've been sick.  Nevertheless, you can see, EATING actually works.  

I always set Monday as my weigh in day.  WHY?  The weekend.  Helps me stay accountable.

Breakfast- 1 cup of mixed berries, 1/4 c of granola, a splash of unsweetened almond milk.  This is Matt's fav. breakfast.

Snacks and Lunch were posted and prepped yesterday.

Dinner-soooooo, yeah. 

My wheat crust pizza extravaganza was put on hold.  I had all good intentions of making that shit.  I swear.  But then.....we decided to go to Lazy Dog.  We had a free kid's meal coupon!  Everybody had a CrAzY Monday.  I WOULD blame my family but I was totally complicit.  Yum!!!  I love food......and wine.  I TOLD you this.  You should not be shocked.  

 So, how do I make this work?  Now, if it were a challenge, I would have ordered a plain chicken breast with a side of broccoli, and a water with lemon.  Not kidding.  EVERY single restaurant will serve this.  :)  It's cheaper too!

But I'm not in a challenge and I know if I'm careful, I can still lose weight.  Today I got the "happy hour portion" of chicken lettuce cups WITHOUT the rice noodles. I NEVER use the sauce they serve, I just add Sriracha.  

We had spicy edamame to share.  And I had wine.  NOM, fucking, NOM, NOM, NOM!  (I told you I would speak the truth).

Not a clean meal but after today, and after being sick, TOTALLY worth it.

In addition, all the Girl Scout cookies are coming in.   My trick.  Order Thin Mints.  I FUCKING HATE THIN MINTS!!!!  My family loves them.  Win--win.

A parting shot....my dog woke me up this morning wearing a bra.  If that doesn't make you smile, then you ARE a sad sack.  For reals.

Sunday, a day of rest....MY ASS!

Sunday!!  Normally a really busy day for us. 

• I usually start with 9:00 "Church Workout" followed by 10:00 Yoga at the Warrior Fitness Bootcamp.  Two hours of ME time.
• On the way home (sweaty, DISGUSTING, and disguised by a hoodie and baseball cap) I stop at Vons to do my weekly grocery shopping.  I've prepped the list and meals before the gym.
• Kids and dad put the groceries away while I shower.
• Laundry and meal prep begins IF, and only if,  we don't have any "family plans",  kids' birthday parties, etc.

Today I had to skip the gym so I was able to shower, hit Vons and Trader Joe's,  and be home by 10:00.  I dropped of groceries and picked up Declan to go shopping for his friend's birthday party.  It's tonight from 5-7.  I was SHOCKED!!  I'm in my jammies by 7!  These people are WILD.

Breakfast-egg casserole (see previous blog for recipe) I froze the last 2 pieces.  I'm over it for this week but I will want it again next week.  Waste not, want not.  We are really trying to cut down on food waste in our house.

Snack-Skinny Vanilla Latte from Starbucks.  I normally don't get specialty drinks but I HATE GROCERY SHOPPING SO MUCH, I gave myself a little treat.  Yes, I rewarded myself like a fucking DOG. Woof, frickin', woof!

Lunch-Plain Greek Yogurt, honey, 10-15 almonds, and a handful of blueberries

Snack-during food prep I tasted asparagus, brussel sprouts, and some chicken.  Might have been another meal!  -_- (oops)

Dinner-Steak and asparagus with a side salad of baby spinach.  Dressed with EVOO and balasmic vinegar!  I'll add some red and yellow bell peppers to the salad.

What meal prep looks like...

Healthy food, baby!

My friend Denise gave me this recipe!  FUCKING YUM!  Heat oven to 500.  Cut brussel sprouts in half.  Coat with 1 tbs. EVOO and a generous layer of Trader Joe's "Everyday Spice".  Bake for 15 min. or so.  This shit is CRACK!

1 tbs. EVOO and a small sprinkling of Sea Salt.  Bake at 400 for 10 min.  Still crunchy.

Snack prep for M-TH.  Plain Greek yogurt, almonds, blueberries, and honey.  WHAT, WHAT?  Thanks, Leo!!

M-TH lunches.  Two are chicken, brussel sprouts, and 4oz of sweet potato.  Two are pesto chicken, asparagus, 3/4 cup brown rice.  BOOM!

Meat for the week....or at least part of it.  Left (chicken in EVOO and Sea Salt), Grilled Steak, Right-pesto chicken (already marinated from Trader Joe's)

In all, meal prep took 2.5 hours.  All the while tidying the house and doing laundry.  I'm TRYING like mad to make the week run smoothly.  hahahahaha!!  Famous last words.

I'm feeling better and better each day.  Almost positive I can go to the gym tomorrow or Tuesday.  I'll see how I sleep tonight.

Parting words...

You got this.  Everybody has "off days".  Don't give up because of one bad meal.  Just don't give up EVER.  It's that simple.  You choose.  You are not a victim.  Your fitness level today is due to YOUR actions in the past.  It's NEVER too late to change your current actions.

Lastly, remember that you are special.  You are worth the effort.

Saturday.....on the mend....kind of

Hello beautiful people!  So I have partial meals for today.  I'm slowly feeling better but I'm trying to make simple foods so I can save my energy for the work week. Thank goodness Matt is taking point with the kids this weekend.  It helps.

I'm feeling stir crazy with not being able to exercise!!  I am really missing the people, the calorie burn, and the stress relief. Ugh!  Addicted to exercise!  I feel like a crack ho jonesing for a hit!

*****I CANNOT tell you how many people tell me that they don't eat breakfast because it makes them hungry all day long.  YES!  That's your metabolism rocking!  HELLO!!!! You are SUPPOSED to feel hungry! As long as you plan your meals and have food at the ready, you can (and should) eat all day long.  Eat every 2-3 hours if possible!!  The biggest mistake with this....PORTION SIZE!  Don't eat 5-6 FULL ASS meals. YOU KNOW THIS! :P

Surprise!!  Breakfast in Bed. 

Matt brought me a baby apple fritter.  HE IS SO SWEET BUT I'M NOT EATING IT!!  Looks good though!! Mmmmmmmmm, DONUTS!!!!!!!

 I used to get so cranky when Matt and the kids would eat "treats" or fast food in front of me.  I made them eat in another room because it was so tempting and I felt so deprived.  Soon after, I started losing weight and I realized that I could make ANY choice I wanted.  I was FREE to choose immediate gratification OR I could choose change.  Not going to lie, this "attitude adjustment" did not happen overnight.  The more you choose change, the easier it gets.  It becomes more of "I don't eat that" than "I wish I could eat that".

Breakfast -Coffee and Oatmeal

Matt also brought coffee and Starbuck's oatmeal.

I only use half the nuts and dried fruit.  I always try to leave something on my plate. I don't use the brown sugar.

Snack 1 : 2 Peanut Butter Protein Balls!  (recipe in a previous blog)

Lunch:  Tuna.  I mix the ingredients you see pictured (onion, jalapeno, pickle, mustard, veganase, Worcestershire sauce).  I use more mustard with just a scoop of the vegenase.  You could use light mayo AND I've seen tuna mixed with avocado as well.  I'm not a huge avocado or mayo fan.  It's up to you!

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Normally I would put this on a bed of baby spinach and add a little balsamic vinegar and EVOO. I wasn't in the mood for the spinach today, so I just ate the protein.

Snack #2  raw almonds (24) 1 slice of string cheese

Dinner- Undecided (Matt is taking care of the kiddies)

Today my food is lacking FRUITS AND VEGGIES!  I am a protein girl and adding enough fruits and veggies is a constant struggle for me!  This week's goal is to prep more veggie dishes!

 Today I did meal planning and made my weekly grocery list.  This week I used http://www.skinnytaste.com/ to create my menu for the week.  I love this website because it gives you "low carb" meals, paleo meals, vegetarian meals...whatever you want. Each meal is also broken down by calories and Weight Watchers points.  This site will work for EVERYONE!!

I might not follow this EXACTLY day by day but it's a plan and I know I will have the ingredients on hand.

Tomorrow morning I will go to the store so I can be ready for the work week

Over the past year I've gotten mixed reviews on my diet and lifestyle.  I've had praise and criticism alike. People have said...Your diet is extreme....This is not healthy!...Are you starving yourself?  I reply patiently and explain my diet. 

 People don't have to understand your journey.  It's OK.  You don't have to feel defensive.

You do you. Let me do me.

Once again, friends, I am unable to share my meals.  I am feeling off and I'm not able to eat much.  One thing occurred to me today as I was trolling FB.

I am friends with a lot of people from my gym.  All of them are there to get healthy and as far as I can tell, there are many different ways to achieve that goal.  What I find is that EVERYONE has an opinion about how to get fit.  What I caution is...don't give your opinion unless it's specifically requested.  

Some people are trying to lose weight, some are trying to gain muscle, some are training for an event (like a marathon or a mud run), and some are looking into a bikini competition. All of these goals are amazing and all require different meal plans.  Please don't confuse YOUR fitness goals with the goals of everyone around you.  Not everyone wants to run a marathon.  Not everyone wants to do a competition.  Not everyone has the same idea of beauty.

My goal right now is to drop a few pounds (8-10) by 3/17.  I'll check my weight weekly and am eating healthy food.  I'm not counting carbs or protein right now.  I'm eating small portions 5-6x a day and I know that this works for my body.

My 90 day plan after that is to gain more muscle and become more defined.  Ass, Abs, Legs, and Butt. I want to exchange some fat with muscle. I will be more mindful of my diet at this point. You will see it change. 

It's NOT my intention to get really ripped.  I want a toned body but not a "muscled" body.  I still want some softness and I want to look feminine.  Think more bathing suit model than fitness model (as much as a 41 year old can look like a bathing suit model).  Remember, this is MY goal.  This is what I find attractive.  In addition, I am not interested in a life that requires me to count every damn thing ALL THE TIME.  I enjoy pasta.  I enjoy steak and potatoes.  I enjoy splurging on a date night with the husband.  

My goal (sort of)

This takes hard work and an IMPECCABLE diet (not my goal).

 

 Pick you OWN goal and go for it.  WRITE IT DOWN.  No really, do it now.  Write your goal down and stick it to your bathroom mirror, or to your fridge, or write it in your journal.  Just don't get so wrapped up in YOUR goal that you think everyone is striving for the same thing.

You do YOU.  Eff everyone else!  When someone offers you an opinion you didn't seek simply say, "Thank you for expressing your opinion."  It's kind...and the subtext is BACK THE FUCK OFF, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR OPINION.  

If you really want to be a passive aggressive bitch then add..."bless your heart." My friend from the south taught me that one.  Thanks, Chris!

70% diet 30% gym Abs are made it the kitchen (I just wish they were made with wine and cheese)

I was able to sleep until 6 today.  I always feel so groggy without my morning workout BUT I made it through the work day!!  I had a pharmacy in my purse.  Antibiotics, ibuprofin, DayQuil capsules, a tea bag, and bottled water.  I'm totally missing the Michael Jackson workout tomorrow.  Boooooooooooooo!

6:45 Breakfast- egg on Ezekiel bread with a side of turkey bacon.

Using my daughters lil egg pan.  It's so cute!

I TOTALLY overcooked my egg.  The lil pan got very hot!

My egg burned a bit, so I just covered it in Tapatio. My bacon looks jacked too.  Yeah, I'm not a "strong" cook.

SECOND PROBLEM!!!  I completely ran out of fruit.  Pfffffffft.  Such is the life of a busy ass, working mom.  I was PLANNING on getting some after school but....that didn't happen. I stumbled through my front door at around 4:00.  Eff the grocery store, eff fruit, eff being a good mom.

9:45 Snack "Peanut Butter Protein Squares" (I usually make them into balls but my hubby made this batch into squares!  Thanks, Jessica, for this recipe. For two balls/squares, it's between 120-140ish calories.

1 cup peanut butter (I use Laura Scudder's all natural)
1 cup oats
1 cup chocolate protein powder
1/3 cup agave nectar

Mix this up, scoop them into balls and freeze them.  Yummy snack!  I have (my daughter has) all of these different sized "scoops" for baking.  I normally use her smallest scoop.

Balls, balls, balls!  I LOVE balls.  NOM, NOM, NOM

The squares are in the baggie.  You can't see them.

Lunch 11:00  Chili verde, spinach, brown rice.

I prepped the chili verde on Monday too.

Traditionally chili verde is made with pork and it is AWESOME.  I didn't have pork in the freezer but I did have La Victoria chili verde salsa so I improvised and used chicken instead of the pork.  It will do in a pinch but it's not as good.  My friend Rox gave me this recipe!

Cut chicken into small pieces.  Brown in EVOO.  Add 1 bottle of chili verde (or you can make your own).  You can add a little water too if it's too thick for you.  I turn the heat waaaaaaay down and let the chicken and salsa sit there for about 40 min.  You can serve in a whole wheat tortilla, over rice, over a salad.

2:45 Snack Chocolate Protein Shake

5:30 Dinner "The Habit" 

Matt is getting us The Habit after Declan's orthodontist appointment.  This is the lazy mom's solution to dinner when A) she's not feeling well, and B) she was supposed to go to the grocery store after work but failed to do so because she's a selfish ho.

I get the chicken salad with balsamic dressing.  This might be my FAVORITE meal on the planet.  I'm boring and I REALLY, REALLY like salad. I'm also a little bit obsessed with balsamic vinegar.  I frickin' LOVE it!

I love you, chicken salad!!!

Evening snack-plain egg whites. 

My goal by June is abs, ass, and legs!!