Day 9 Why am I doing this?

Behold the cluster fuck of an emotional roller coaster that we call......Tuesday.

Got up, went to the gym.  Elliptical and treadmill without music.  Boring as hell BUT I got some type of workout.  I was feeling dissatisfied but still glad that I went.

Not bad.  I could have pushed harder.

In addition, the NICEST person I know made me homemade salsa and BROUGHT IT...TO THE GYM....because she is kind, and giving, and truly an angel on earth. DeeDee, I love YOUR face.  Seriously people, this is my gym.  People look out for one another, people KNOW each other, people go out of their way to care for one another.  I have never been a part of something like this.

How kind is this??  She made TWO versions.  Matt hates cilantro.  So she made mine with cilantro and his without.

All mine....my precious!!!!!

LOOK.  AT.  THIS. BOWL. OF. DELISH.

egg whites, spinach, chicken sausage, salsa

I was fairly happy this morning.  Then nothing in particular happened and then BOOM!  I was in a shit mood.  I cannot even begin to explain why.  My students were good.  My coworkers were fine.  No clue...other than the fact that I'm a woman and sometimes my emotions make NO sense...ugh.  At all.

I started thinking.....

1. WHY did I start another challenge?
2. What am I doing?
3. My husband loves me the way I am.
4. I don't have to do a photo shoot at the end.
5. Fuck it.

I was very close to going to a restaurant, ordering a pizza and making sweet love to that pizza... all night long.  Not gonna lie....you KNOW I'd have wine with that shit.  Nom, nom, nom!

Then I decided to employ my new philosophy of "calm the fuck down".

1. Why did I start a new challenge?  Ummmm, I dunno bitch but you PAID for it AND you PAID for personal training.  You know you AREN'T going to throw your money away so...calm the fuck down.
2. What am I doing?  Training to be healthy, fit, and strong and trying to set an amazing example for your kids so...calm the fuck down.
3. Your husband does love you.  How lucky.  Still.....you need to calm the fuck down.
4. You don't have to do the photo shoot.  Truth.  Calm the fuck down. 
5. Fuck it.  Yes, fuck it.

So...yeah.  That was my day.

Breakfast (pictured above)
Snack-protein shake
Lunch- hamburger patty, brussel sprouts
Snack-apple
Dinner- chicken salad with balsamic dressing
Snack/dessert-nonfat, sugar free, caffeine free iced vanilla latte (AND I DO NOT REGRET IT EITHER)

Ummmmm, I have a sneaking suspicion that I MIGHT be juuuuuuuust a tad crazier than the norm.  With great craziness comes great responsibility.

I cannot tell you how much this quote touches me.  I used to think I was broken.  And then I picked up all my pieces and realized that I'm perfectly imperfect.  And I'm OK with that.

You rock that confidence, people.  You are a phenomenal person.  Why wouldn't you be confident?  Who gives a shit what people think.

Nighty noodles, doodles.  (That's a shout out to Rox)!!