Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Day 7 Pfffffffft

I.  Can't.  Sleep.  Insomnia sucks my balls.  It fucks with my mood AND generally pisses me off.

I didn't get up to workout this morning because I was up from 1:00-3:30.  I should have just gotten up at 4:00 to go do my workout.  Today we have tons of shit to do/errands to run, so apparently it's my "rest day".

I need to meditate (bahahahahahahaaaaa. I would be able to sit still to save my fucking life), change my attitude, and suck it the fuck up.  I'm thinking...
1.  I fucking HATE worrying about every fucking thing going into my mouth (no blow job jokes today, friends).

2.  I'm tired of starting over because I keep giving up and lacking discipline.
3.  What makes me think that I'll finally be able to keep the weight off THIS time?
4. I was SO HAPPY and proud a few short months ago.  AND now I'm just...NOT.
5.  I'm stressing about my before/after photos and dunks because I have my bikini photo up, and it's HUGE, on the wall of my gym AND I don't fucking look like that anymore and it's EMBARRASSING!
Today I need 10.
 

So yeah, now you get to meet "Pissy Andi".  Fuck it.  Drink my water, eat clean, and ride the mood.
Ahahahahahahaha!

And just so YOU know, I KNOW that these are all "first world problems".  We are, in fact, talking about 15 pounds.  I am not, in fact, starting over (I'd have to gain 35 more pounds for that).  I do, in fact, have a loving husband who really doesn't give a fuck what I weigh.  I am, in fact, really lucky to have my family, a job, and a roof over my head.  I get all this, I do.

First.  World.  Problems.




Sometimes I look at people who have no OCD, ADD, A type personality/perfectionist leanings and I think..........FUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOU!  Harumph!  Poor me rant over.  Time to SUCK IT UP!
Das right!


Oh well, pimpin' ain't easy but it's necessary...
Peace out, suckaaaaaazzzzzzz!
 

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